Stories are the essence of humanity; they help us make sense of the world, and make it a more interesting place to live. We are going to use them to make your online dating profile more effective and memorable.
Psychological research has indicated that one of the best tools for remembering lists of words is to create a story with them. If given a list of random words, any list of words, and try to memorise them by rote you will remember some. You will be significantly more successful if you connect them into and by a story. Shall we try this theory? The following words I selected by flicking through a book: number, months, brothers, story, replaced, phantom, shot, prepare, nature, work, remember. Cover the screen and try to recall them now. If you try to remember each word individually, you have no aid to get from one word to the next. Our brains like it when things make sensible connections. This is where stories come in. Stories make connections between abstract concepts. So a great way of remembering this list of words is to think 'a number of months later the brothers were sitting around telling a story about how one of them had been replaced by a phantom. They had been shot, so the phantom had prepared a special medicine from nature, and it worked! They remembered this for the rest of their lives.
Tricks Of The Trade
If you want to stand out and be remembered you need to tell a good story. Your brand is all about presenting what would otherwise be a random collection of attributes, experiences and interests as an integrated story. A story will appeal to your reader and make them feel a deeper connection to you because you make more sense to them. It also helps them to remember you after they're offline.
So, I am going to let you in on some of the secrets of creating a great story. These are the tools of the trade for writers.
1. Show, don't tell. What do you mean? It means you shouldn't force information onto the reader, you should let them experience it and draw their own conclusions. For example, you want them to think you are intelligent. Writing in your profile 'I am intelligent' is not nearly as effective as 'my university paper on the themes of women's liberation in Jane Eyre was published in a leading academic journal'.
2. Structure. Every story has a structure. It has a beginning, middle and an end. The structure reinforces the purpose of the story. There are a couple of different types of structures, and they have different purposes, but good, memorable stories are not just randomly chucked down on a piece of paper. We expect there to be order. Despite the dissected nature of the online profile - height over here, movies over there, photo in the top right hand corner - there still needs to be structure within it all. It should have an introduction, main body and conclusion. The intro is a nice summary of your main points, the body goes through each point and gives examples, and the conclusion reinforces the points and leaves the reader with something to think about.
3. Focus. Remove extraneous pieces of information from the story. While writing your profile, it might feel like there are many different parts to be covered, however you should use your branding to make sure you focus on the important parts. If you link your three key attributes into a story, this can help you stay focused.
4. The hook. The first line of a book is always the most important, and hardest to write. It needs to introduce the flavour of the book, as well as hooking the audience into the story. If the first line isn't interesting, most people won't keep reading. The same goes for your profile, which we will discuss more under Creating Your Tagline (if you want to read the rest of this book, 'The Nice Guy's Guide To Online Dating Profiles' it's available on Amazon).
5. Find your voice. How you say something is just as important as what you say. Your word choice indicates a lot about you, and taking time to find the right word can make the difference between a boring or fascinating story. You want to make sure that your writing style reflects your branding. For example, using a lot of slang might undercut your assertion that you are educated and cultured. But similarly, using a lot of highbrow words will conflict with your image of being a down-to-earth, nice guy. (Which, by the way, is not a branding you should have gone for, as it is meaningless. Hopefully you picked that up when trying to come up with evidence for it.)
6. Pacing. The punctuation and words you use can have a physical effect on your reader. If you increase the pace of your writing, the reader will start breathing faster, getting more excited and have more adrenaline pumping through their body. If you slow the pacing you can soothe them, help them relax (occasionally send them to sleep). Therefore, you want to pick the pacing for your free writing section that mirrors your branding. If you are aiming for cultured and refined, a slower pace would be more appropriate. If you are going for adventurous and sporty, then you want a faster pace. So, how do you get these different paces? Two simple tricks you can use are punctuation and word choice. More full stops and shorter words with sharp consonants will give a faster pace. Or, more commas and longer words with long vowels will give a slower pace. It's pretty simple once it's pointed out, and you might have been doing it subconsciously in places. However, now you can make your writing more consistent and fix it if you need to.
That's it - the tricks of the trade in storytelling. Keep these in mind to write a memorable, well-flowing profile!.
Psychological research has indicated that one of the best tools for remembering lists of words is to create a story with them. If given a list of random words, any list of words, and try to memorise them by rote you will remember some. You will be significantly more successful if you connect them into and by a story. Shall we try this theory? The following words I selected by flicking through a book: number, months, brothers, story, replaced, phantom, shot, prepare, nature, work, remember. Cover the screen and try to recall them now. If you try to remember each word individually, you have no aid to get from one word to the next. Our brains like it when things make sensible connections. This is where stories come in. Stories make connections between abstract concepts. So a great way of remembering this list of words is to think 'a number of months later the brothers were sitting around telling a story about how one of them had been replaced by a phantom. They had been shot, so the phantom had prepared a special medicine from nature, and it worked! They remembered this for the rest of their lives.
Tricks Of The Trade
If you want to stand out and be remembered you need to tell a good story. Your brand is all about presenting what would otherwise be a random collection of attributes, experiences and interests as an integrated story. A story will appeal to your reader and make them feel a deeper connection to you because you make more sense to them. It also helps them to remember you after they're offline.
So, I am going to let you in on some of the secrets of creating a great story. These are the tools of the trade for writers.
1. Show, don't tell. What do you mean? It means you shouldn't force information onto the reader, you should let them experience it and draw their own conclusions. For example, you want them to think you are intelligent. Writing in your profile 'I am intelligent' is not nearly as effective as 'my university paper on the themes of women's liberation in Jane Eyre was published in a leading academic journal'.
2. Structure. Every story has a structure. It has a beginning, middle and an end. The structure reinforces the purpose of the story. There are a couple of different types of structures, and they have different purposes, but good, memorable stories are not just randomly chucked down on a piece of paper. We expect there to be order. Despite the dissected nature of the online profile - height over here, movies over there, photo in the top right hand corner - there still needs to be structure within it all. It should have an introduction, main body and conclusion. The intro is a nice summary of your main points, the body goes through each point and gives examples, and the conclusion reinforces the points and leaves the reader with something to think about.
3. Focus. Remove extraneous pieces of information from the story. While writing your profile, it might feel like there are many different parts to be covered, however you should use your branding to make sure you focus on the important parts. If you link your three key attributes into a story, this can help you stay focused.
4. The hook. The first line of a book is always the most important, and hardest to write. It needs to introduce the flavour of the book, as well as hooking the audience into the story. If the first line isn't interesting, most people won't keep reading. The same goes for your profile, which we will discuss more under Creating Your Tagline (if you want to read the rest of this book, 'The Nice Guy's Guide To Online Dating Profiles' it's available on Amazon).
5. Find your voice. How you say something is just as important as what you say. Your word choice indicates a lot about you, and taking time to find the right word can make the difference between a boring or fascinating story. You want to make sure that your writing style reflects your branding. For example, using a lot of slang might undercut your assertion that you are educated and cultured. But similarly, using a lot of highbrow words will conflict with your image of being a down-to-earth, nice guy. (Which, by the way, is not a branding you should have gone for, as it is meaningless. Hopefully you picked that up when trying to come up with evidence for it.)
6. Pacing. The punctuation and words you use can have a physical effect on your reader. If you increase the pace of your writing, the reader will start breathing faster, getting more excited and have more adrenaline pumping through their body. If you slow the pacing you can soothe them, help them relax (occasionally send them to sleep). Therefore, you want to pick the pacing for your free writing section that mirrors your branding. If you are aiming for cultured and refined, a slower pace would be more appropriate. If you are going for adventurous and sporty, then you want a faster pace. So, how do you get these different paces? Two simple tricks you can use are punctuation and word choice. More full stops and shorter words with sharp consonants will give a faster pace. Or, more commas and longer words with long vowels will give a slower pace. It's pretty simple once it's pointed out, and you might have been doing it subconsciously in places. However, now you can make your writing more consistent and fix it if you need to.
That's it - the tricks of the trade in storytelling. Keep these in mind to write a memorable, well-flowing profile!.
About the Author:
For more great advice on how to present yourself online, see "The Nice Guy's Guide To Online Dating Profiles" on Amazon: Nice Guy's Guide To Online Dating on Amazon
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