The 3 Phases To Reclaiming The Relationship With Your Ex-Girlfriend Or Wife

By Alex Peters


The emotional pain and torment of a breakup can be difficult on even the toughest guys. You would probably prefer physical pain over what you may be going through. At least you would have some sort of idea of how quickly you would heal and a doctor could tell you what to do to speed the process. The torment comes from knowing exactly what will end your pain. If your girlfriend or wife would simply give you a second chance then the path to healing would be simple. You would have something to do. You would have a goal and you would come up with a plan to bring the two of you back together again.

There really is no difference between a breakup with a woman that was your wife and a woman that was your girlfriend. Many people say that having your wife leave you is more painful but this would be like comparing losing an arm to losing a leg. Both of them hurt and in both cases it is necessary to deal with the pain and restore the lost limb or, in this case, the lost partner. The sooner you are able to deal with the loss and restore the connection, the better. This logical sort of thinking is what will help you to get your ex back as quickly as possible. We are going to talk about the same methods that the military uses to help soldiers deal with stress after battle. You will see that these proven techniques will help you to heal and move forward with your life and prepare you for the process of getting back together with your girlfriend or wife in the shortest time possible.

Initially, you might want to grieve or mourn the death of your relationship. This is understandable and encouraged. Set aside some time to be upset, angry, hurt and emotional about your breakup. Don't let yourself dwell too long upon these emotions and set a time limit on this grieving process. Once you have grieved for a day or so, you are going to debrief. You are going to give yourself a factual account of what happened in your relationship. You will remember what went well and what went wrong. You will recount what you did wrong as well as what your ex did wrong. You will remember moments when you felt that you had seen progress in the right direction and you're going to do all of this without emotion or judgement. Throughout this process, you are going to put everything in the past and put it to rest.

Beating yourself up or being upset with yourself over something that you did in the past is not healthy or helpful. You can see that you did things wrong but it is simply impossible to change the past. Removing the emotions from these incidents is necessary for your healing as well as for your success in the future. You are like a soldier who is learning from a past battle and becoming educated about what works and what doesn't. Freeing yourself from this emotional baggage is necessary for your success in the future. You are living and learning from the past.

In the next step you will be rebuilding yourself back into the man that you once were, but better. You have been through a lot so you deserve to be treated well. This means taking some time to decompress and enjoy your life for a short while before it is time to get back to work. This is called rest and relaxation. Do the things that make you happy and which make life worth living. Rest assured in knowing that you have the ability to get your girlfriend or wife back but right now is your moment to do some things that bring a smile to your face.

While many soldier go a little crazy and begin drinking like fish, you might want to avoid alcohol for the moment. It might be tempting to party hardy but this kind of activity can sometimes cause even the strongest man to fall back into old patterns of behavior. A moment of weakness might cause you to call your ex and proclaim your undying love for her or even want to see her again so you can tell her how much better you're feeling. Avoid this temptation at all cost. This is not the time to see your girlfriend and you should be strong and of sober mind when that moment does come. You need to have your life together completely before initiating contact with your ex. Get out of town or visit friends for a weekend. Go to the shore or to another city to allow yourself to unwind and decompress. This might help you to avoid the desire to see your ex also.

When you return home, it's time to start getting back into shape mentally, emotionally and physically. It's time to start taking care of yourself and training for your big comeback. It's time to education yourself about relationships and how women behave in relationships. Look at this as your training to get back in there and win your ex girlfriend or wife back. Learn about her, what makes her tick and why she reacts the way that she does when she's in a relationship. Women behave much differently than men. They are emotional. Men are logical. Train that logical part of your brain to target her emotions and you will be well on your way to winning her back.

Getting your girlfriend or wife back might seem impossible at this moment but, as you can see, it is a simple process of moving past the pain and hurt, rebuilding yourself and then understanding and doing those things that will attract her again. You have the advantage in this situation. You have a logical mind. Once you remove the emotion from the situation you will be able to think logically again and then do the things that will bring her back while avoiding the situations that will push her away. Keep all of this in mind when you're tempted to get upset or do something crazy to get her back. There is power in keeping a cool mind and a level head when dealing with your girlfriend or wife. You can do this. You can get her back.




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