Cultivating Patience When You Are Still In Love With Your Ex

By Vickie Lamm

Before you can ever even think of trying to get your ex back you need to end the doubt inside your own mind. Before you can even consider talking to your girlfriend about getting back together or even start spending time with her you need to eliminate the biggest stumbling block that stands in your way of getting her back. That stumbling block is your own doubts and insecurities.

Unfortunately, sometimes problems occur. Misunderstandings happen and we lose the affections of someone that we truly love and value. What do you do when your world comes crashing down and the one person that you love and admire rejects you?

The death of a relationship is similar to any other sort of death. When a loved one passes away, we have a choice. We can either spend days, weeks, months or even years grieving or we can look at things from a different point of view. We can choose to remember the happy times and be grateful for what we had. We can also look to the future and hope for the birth of a new relationship with the person that we love. If we choose to do this then it might be helpful to move past the pain and begin to rebuild our life.

Realizing how doubtful you are is the first step towards taking care of this problem. Realizing that you have bad thoughts inside your head and that even though you want to be positive and optimistic about everything, you still have doubts in your mind is a good first step.

These emotions very well might come back when we are reunited with our ex and cause problems. Unresolved resentment could cause you to become angry when you do get back together with your ex or if you do decide to get into a relationship with someone else. This is why it's important to feel these emotions and work through them now when you're alone.

In addition, it's natural for someone to reject you when you are putting too much pressure on them. You might love your partner with every bit of your heart and adore them more than anyone else in the word but there's a difference between desiring to be in a romantic relationship with someone that you love and being desperate to be in a romantic relationship with someone that you love. Desperation is an ugly and very unattractive force that can be felt by your ex. It is seen in your body language and how you are almost begging them to love you. Desperation repulses people sometimes without them even knowing why. Most people will say that they feel uneasy around someone that is desperate. You may have even experienced this at one point in your life when you had no interest in spending time with someone who seemed very nice to everyone else around you.

You very well might find that your ex will come back to you when you least expect it. Often when we're in the middle of making big changes in our life and we're not focusing on a relationship, the love of our life comes back to us. When we stop focusing on the problem, the solution presents itself or the problem resolves itself all on its own. By focusing on your breakup and the heartache that you're feeling, you give this problem energy and power to control your life. Once you forget about it and instead focus on yourself, things begin to change.

In the end, the amount of time that you spend apart is nothing when compared to spending the rest of your life together being happy. Be strong and look at this breakup as a wake up call. Look at the time apart as an opportunity to build the kind of life that your ex will be happy to be a part of. Look at your ex as someone that has been wounded or led astray. You love them so show them how much you love them by putting your own needs aside temporarily. There will come a day when your ex will be astounded by the depth of the love that you hold for them. Remember, you can and will get back together with your ex if you keep a positive and optimistic attitude about your breakup.

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