Knowing How To Get Rid Of Hickeys Fast Ain't Easy

By Tosh Caliberni

What could be more ideal, you had that smoking date with that someone very special last evening. And today you're cranked up for a big interview for a thrilling new job possibility. Or perhaps not. Possibly it's a high school reunion or an annual family event that can't be missed. Or it could just be plans with a bunch of pals who you know will never stop the teasing and interrogation. Whatever the case, you jump out of your skin when you realize it: last night's lingering love bit!

Yes, that's right, that's a hickey! No, not you? I'm afraid so. You better come to terms with it in a hurry, because the big question now is, what are you doing about it? We know there are naysayers out there who say there's nothing you can do. We're not riding that Debbie-downer ship off into the sunset. Still, it isn't obvious what to do. There are all kinds of theories. Which is the best strategy for you?

Almost everyone recommends the cold spoon. Make that an ice cold spoon. Placing it on the offending mark is claimed to reduce the spread of the hickey. Some though claim that it only makes it worse. Perhaps it's a matter of personal physiology. You'd have to experiment on yourself to know. Maybe better to experiment when there's not anything important or pressing on tap for the day. (Hey, you could even get the hickey on purpose, just so as to experiment!)

After the ice cold spoon crowd, we have the advice from the crowd that apparently have difficulty distinguishing their neck from their teeth. There are a bunch of ideas for hickey management employing dental hygiene measures. One is to briskly brush the hickey with a tooth brush. The theory here is that you'll break up the clotting which is the cause of the hickey. Better circulation will get rid of the love bit faster. Also from the dentally misdirected crowd is the suggestion to use mint flavored toothpaste. You apply it to the spot just like it were a cream. I don't think you need to use the brush, but, heck, at that point, why not? And if that's not getting the job done for you, how about flagellating the darn thing with some dental floss? That's just my idea; I don't know if it would do anything.

Of course another, less theatrical way to get the blood flowing is to simply massage the area. No magic formula here, but it should offer some relief. And then there's the coin method. This one is a bit out there, but apparently works really well. You use the finger and thumb of one hand to stretch out the area with the hickey then in the other hand use the edge of a coin to actually scrape away at the offending love bite. The idea is to disperse the blood, so be sure to scrape from the center of the hickey, out toward the edges. When you're done there will be a red mark from the scraping, but, if you did it right (of course, don't actually scrape off your skin!), that should clear up in a few minutes. And there should be a marked improvement in your hickey.

Here's another option, useful for when the hickey is a bit older. If it is at least 48 hours old, and it's only now you need to get rid of it, warm compresses can be effective. This is a good one, but also a tricky one. Your hickey really does have to be minimum 48 hours old! (You do know when you got it, right? This wasn't another of those three day benders of yours?) If you use this method too early, it is very likely to make your hickey a whole lot worse. Don't play with fire, here.

However, when all is said and done, the fastest way to get rid of hickeys is not actually to get rid of them at all, but just get rid of the sight of them. The turtle neck sweater is an old school classic for a very good reason; it works! If you can get away with scarves, that's another reliable classic. If the weather, though, will make such choices a tad too suspicious or uncomfortable, there's always make-up.

I can't say I've tried this one, but my color coordinator assures me that powering a little green over the hickey, neutralizes its red. Once neutralized, the hickey can be covered with a flesh tone compatible with your own. This is supposed to make for excellent camouflage.

So, you see, you've a variety of options. Which one you choose will depend on your personal taste, timing needs and perhaps pain tolerance.

I've heard it said that, once bitten, twice shy. I wonder if that's going to apply in your case. Well, whatever happens, you know we're always here to help with your cosmetic crises, at How to Get Rid of Hickeys Fast.

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